I need you
by shimmeringdawn
Summary: Shuichi sees Yuki in bed with another guy. That leads to a quarrel which ends up with them breaking up. Shuichi wants to leave. but when he returns, will he still be the same? will they get back together? or will shuichi change?
1. Realisation

**ERm, this is my first try at writing fanfics. so please help me......yorushiku. onegaishimasu!**

**err, please give reviews on whether this plot is workable.....coz as i said this is my first try! =) i hope it is not too cliche. also, please review on whether its worth continuing. once again, pls review! =) thanks.**

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Chapter 1…………

Tears fell down his pale cheeks as he thought back about the quarrel he just had with his lover, Yuki. At 2.00 a.m. in the middle of the night, Shuichi sat on the bench where they had first met, sobbing. His irresistible violet eyes were filled with sadness and hurt. Further more, he had a throbbing headache.

---------FlASHBACK----------

3 hours ago, Shuichi, lead singer of Bad Luck was rushing home to see his beloved Yuki from the airport. Bad Luck had gone to Singapore for 2 weeks to perform a concert. It was a huge success and they were now back. Shuichi had bought many souvenirs for Yuki. He missed Yuki terrible. His touch, his voice. Anything about his angel, he missed. Shuichi even had a headache, which he happily deduced that it was because of absence of Yuki.

The moment he reached home, Shuichi shouted enthusiastically, "Yukiiiiiii! Ta Da I Ma! Where are you? Are you playing hide and seek with me? I'm going to find you!" With that, Shuichi opened Yuki's door, shouting "found you!" before he even stepped into the room. Shuichi saw something…….that hurt him….terribly.

Yuki was on the bed. With another guy. Naked. Shuichi's tears started to fall….

_Yuki looks so beautiful, so captivating, just like an angel, but he was in the hands of another, not me…_Shuichi thought.

He snapped back to reality and he knew what he must do. He started yelling at the top of his voice, "YUKIIII!!! What are you doing? You are mine! How can you let another guy touch you!" Yuki responded, annoyed, "Aargh. Shut up, you noisy irritating brat."

Seeing that he had nothing left to do, the unwelcomed stranger then said bye to Yuki tenderly, causing Shuichi to grab Yuki tighter than ever and he then made his way to the door. After he was gone, Shuichi demanded an explanation from Yuki.

"Yuki, who was that? Why were y-you making….out…with him?" Shuichi asked, hurt. "Aargh, the moment you come back, you make a hell lot of a noise. He's just a stranger. We only met this evening. What. Stop looking at me like that. Were you expecting me to live without sex for two whole weeks? Don't joke." That was Yuki's cold answer.

Silence engulfed the room.

After about 5 minutes, Shuichi asked in a tiny voice "Am I….am I, just a toy to you too?" Yuki did not reply. He did not know the answer too.

_Is he a toy to me? But if he is, then why do I worry about him, Why…why do I get so damn jealous when…Hiro hugs him for too long….or when Ryuichi demands a hug from him? Why do I care about him……if I don't love him? But I don't love him right, or do I? _

"I get it. But....have you ever liked me before…just for awhile? Just a little….?"Shuichi asked pleadingly. Shuichi was crying….silently….in the darkness. He did not want Yuki to know that he's crying. Getting no answer again, Shuichi's heart broke.

Carrying all his luggage, Shuichi ran out of the house, his face already full of his tears. His heart was tearing. He was pulled in two directions. He wanted to be alone, to administer the fact that Yuki did not love him, and to have Yuki chase after him, hugging and comforting him, telling him that he love Shuichi. But, he knew that was impossible.

As he ran, he wondered about where he would go. It was already 2.00 in the middle of the night. He could go to Hiro's house, but yet, he did not want to impose on his best friend as he knew that Ayaka would be there today. After much thought, he settled for the bench. The bench where he had first met his beautiful but cold angel.

After settling down, he broke down, he allowed himself to cry his heart out. _Yuki does not love me. He did not even dare to say that he likes me…not even for awhile…so…I have been a toy to him all this while? Just someone who…sticks to him like superglue and refuses to leave….right? _Shuichi was hurt and unwell. His headache was still with him. He wanted Yuki so badly. He looked at his luggage, and remembered that he still had presents for Yuki. He started crying again.

Meanwhile, Yuki was worried, or even, panicking at home. _Where did that noisy idiot go? It's already 2.00 a.m. I hurt him again. What if he gets hurt? What if the Aizawa Taki incident happens again? What if nobody saves him? Aargh. Shuichi, you idiot, where are you?...._

_**and so, though happening in two different places, Yuki was worried about his young, naïve lover, while Shuichi was crying….over his beautiful angel. **_

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**_PLEASE REVIEW.....THANK YOU!_**


	2. I am sorry

HI! THKS SOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! it is really very encouraging! =) erm, so this is the second chapter. pls read! and of course, pls review! and i have jap oral exam tomorrow. sigh. wish me luck! ha ha. ok. enjoy....i hope.! =)

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Chapter 2

"I'm sorry Yuki. I did not know how much you disliked me. I must have been a fool right? All those times I told you that I love you, you would just ignore me. You…hated it right? I'm sorry for forcing my love on you, when all you ever wanted was just a…a person to have sex with. I'm sorry for even thinking that you ever loved me. But…why? Why must you do this to me?" Shuichi thought while sobbing. He was heartbroken; tears were falling down his cheeks uncontrollably down his little beautiful face. To make matters worse, his head was throbbing and he felt like it would explode in two soon. It hurt….alot. Both emotionally and physically.

After that, he fainted, falling down from their bench, without any resistance.

**(5.00 Early Next Morning. Or that morning.)**

Yuki did not sleep a wink last night; all he thought about was Shuichi, his young lover. He worried for him. Once he closed his eyes, he would see Shuichi crying. He blamed himself continuously. All of a sudden, it struck him on where Shuichi was – the bench! He went out of the house immediately.

Meanwhile, Ryuichi Sakuma was on his way to N-G productions. He was walking along the normal usual pavement with Kumagurou when he saw a familiar back of a person. " Shuichi? Is that you?" Ryuichi asked hesistantly. When there was no answer, Ryuichi hurried forward. Though nobody knows of it, Ryuichi have been crushing on Shuichi for more than 8 months now. Ryuichi loves Shuichi; He only did not chase after him because of Yuki. "SHUICHI! Are you okay? Wake up! " Ryuichi shook Shuichi impatiently, worriedly. Shuichi was shook awake, murmuring "What are you doing here?" Ryuichi, relieved that Shuichi is awake, replied," What happened to you? What are you doing on the floor in a public place in the early morning? Where is Yuki?" At the mere mention of Yuki's name, Shuichi burst into tears. _Yuki dislikes me…._That was all that is going through Shuichi's head.

Shuichi suddenly flung forward and put his lips onto his idols's, while he murmured softly and unknowingly, "Yuki….."

Sakuma Ryuichi's POV

I was so worried when I saw Shuichi lying on the floor motionless. Even when I shook him so ….hard, he took a while to wake up. Before he awoke, thoughts went through my mind, I regretted immediately that I did not chase him when I had the chance to. I thought he was….dead. When he awoke, I was so relieved…so happy. I never felt more happy in my life. All of a sudden, Shuichi kissed me. I felt like I could die of happiness, when he murmured Yuki's…..name. I did not know whether to continue being happy that my crush was kissing me or to be disappointed because….it was not me Shuichi wanted to kiss. However, before I could think further, I felt warmth; actually it was too hot to be just warmth. It was coming from Shuichi, like he was running a horribly high fever. I broke the kiss and placed my hand on his forehead. He was burning hot. He closed his eyes, as if waiting for me to kiss him back….my heart ached.

Unfortunately, or rather sadly, Yuki was watching them, all this while. They did not notice him. He saw them….share their first kiss.

Yuki's POV

I ran there. I never thought there would be a day where I would be so worried about a stupid brat like him. Why? What got into me? When I first saw him, I was so relieved and happy that I did not even question Ryuichi's presence. I was going to go hug shuichi and tell him that I am sorry. However, before I could do that, Shuichi went up to Ryuichi and kissed him, kissed him as if he was his lifeline. It hurt. Shuichi's need for Ryuichi was shown so clearly. I felt like going up to them and bashing Ryuichi up for not breaking the kiss. After all, Shuichi is mine. Mine alone, right? Maybe, after all, Shuichi told me before about how wonderful, how awesome Ryuichi is right? So, maybe to Shuichi, being able to kiss Ryuichi, his idol is a lifetime blessing?

Yuki thought he felt a tear coming out of his eye. But he will never cry for anyone right, let alone Shuichi. Yuki walked away silently, back to that once-again-noiseless apartment of his.

"Shuichi, it's me, I'm here. You are running a very high fever. I need to get you to the hospital." Ryuichi said, suddenly turning very serious. Shuichi opened his eyes in shock. After a while, he nodded silently and Ryuichi dragged him to the hospital as if Shuichi was a toy. He was……..lifeless

Shuichi's POV

I should have known. When I first opened my eyes, and saw Ryuichi, my idol. But I was not in the least excited or happy to see him. I desperately wanted Yuki. All along, I thought I had been kissing Yuki. I thought I saw him wake me up……I thought that he had come for me, to come apologize. I did not have the slightest idea that Ryuichi was there. But, I should have known right? Yuki would never come for me, let alone the idea of him apologizing………even though I love him so much…………..

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PLEASEREVIEW! =)


	3. Agreement

**PEOPLE! THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!!! AND OF COURSE READING AND FAVING IT AND STORY ALERTING IT? LOL. Anyway, this will be my last update till 24****th**** Oct. This is because my End-Of-Years are coming. Sigh. I don't like Biology. =( hehe. And and I hope this chapter is not too off…sigh. PLS ReAD N REVIEW!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! =)**

**DISCLAIMER**: I just realized I forgot to put this in the previous two chaps so this shall applies for whatever I write in this chapter. I DO NOT OWN GRAVITATION. But I own this story! Yipees.

Chapter 3

"He will be alright after about 1 week of rest. However, he is very lucky. If Shindou san was admitted later, he could have damaged his brain. After all, he ran a high fever of 40.8 degree celcius for the whole night! " The doctor at the hospital told Ryuichi after treating Shuichi.

It was obvious on Ryuichi's face that he felt relieved, that his Shuichi is fine. Soon, Hiro and the others came to visit Shuichi. As soon as Hiro knew which ward his best friend was resting at, he rushed in, momentarily stunned.

Hiro's POV

He looked…….so pale and most importantly, lifeless..like all of his energy had been drained, definitely not like the energetic naïve singer that I know. I knew at once that it had had to do with Yuki. The only guy that could turn Shuichi into a lifeless…..there was no word to describe it could only be him. It hurt me a lot to see Shuichi so broken.

Ryuichi suddenly asked all of us to go out as he wanted a talk with Shuichi privately. I knew that he wanted to know what was going on. I requested to stay along. Ryuichi looked at me hesitantly and I prayed that he was not going to turn me down. I had to know what's wrong with my best friend. Luckily, Shuichi nodded his head.

Shuichi's POV.

" What. Happened." Ryuichi and Hiro asked me at the same time. I looked at them, one my best friend and one my idol. I could see in their eyes both filled with worry and concern for me. But where's Yuki? Why is it that my best friend and idol cared about me more than my very own lover? He was probably fucking some other guy out there. I tried holding back my tears as I remembered what happened that fateful night. Suddenly remembering that two people were still looking at me for an answer, I decided to tell them the truth. After all, they could always see through me, and what's the use of lying to someone that cared for you that much right? I Argued with myself. I tried telling them without crying…

" Yuki had…sex with a stranger. I was so hurt. And when I asked him whether I am just a toy to him, he...he could not even answer me. My love for him is wrong is it not? I must have pushed him too hard. Or or, maybe I was just too sensitive.. I …I.." I could not stand it. I burst into hysterics even though I was trying my best not to. All of a sudden, I felt warmth, a very comforting warmth where I wished I could stay feel forever. Hiro and Ryuichi was giving me a group hug. I could see Hiro trying not to cry. That saddens me. Hiro seldom cried……I felt so safe and secure in their arms. But I wished this was Yuki.

END POV.

"Ryuichi, can…can I go with you to Seoul, Korea? Please? I…..I can't stay in Japan. I don't want to face Yuki. Please? Err..If it would cause you too much of an inconvenience, then its….all right….Shuichi trailed off. Ryuichi stared at Shuichi as he spoke. After all, its his dream come true.

"Are you sure? I mean, after all, Bad Luck also has a concer...." Ryuichi spoke in his serious voice only to get cut off by Hiro, " It's all right. We will be allright so long as Shu-chan is allright. We will wait for him here till he is ready. Just take care of my best friend……" Hiro is apparently worried.

Suddenly a pair of familiar warm hands surrounded Hiro's waist. He looked down, only to see a crying Shuichi, sobbing "Thanks, Hiro. Gomena. I'm always being such a trouble." Hiro hugged him back, affectionately, " Silly. Get your hyperness back kay? Get my energetic, kawaii Shuichi back." Shuichi then thought that best friends were always better than boyfriends…..

"Okay! Kumagorou will get the administrative stuff done! Yay. Shu-chan is coming with us! Kumagorou is happy! Na no da!

That night, Shuichi lay on his hospital bed, staring into face with tears dripping down his face. As he finally managed to cry himself to sleep, he murmured "Yuki, I need you….come back…please.", the pain was apparent.

Meanwhile, Yuki tossed and turned in his enormous bed. He had just realized that this bed was so big. He felt that this bed, this whole house….even him…felt empty without Shuichi. It was as if his heart was not with him. Not that he would ever admit to Shuichi but he knows, deep down that he needs a certain pink haired singer…..and he needs him badly.

~END~


	4. Come back?

HI. I'm so sorry for not posting for such a long time. Oh well. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation. Or yuki. Or shuichi. Or any of the characters =)

Chapter 4

"Ring, Ring" The telephone of a famous novel writer, Yuki Eiri rang continuously for over 3 minutes without being picked up. This is however, a result of Yuki seeing that the caller is Tohma Seguchi. ( caller id) and he just REFUSED to pick up the call. "YUKI. I know you are there. PICK UP THE PHONE! Aargh. I just wanted to tell you that Shuichi has decided to leave Japan and head to Korea with Ryuichi. Surely you have heard that Ryuichi wants to leave NG and strike out on his own all over again. Well, your precious Shuichi has just decided to follow him." With that, he hang up the phone, leaving the house in a silence almost suffocating.

_I felt my whole heart sink. Shuichi is leaving? Why? And why Ryuichi? Shuichi, you are mine! You are not supposed to go anywhere….Am I supposed to feel like this? He is just a brat with pink hair, who writes awful lyrics after all; how dare he cause me such confusion, such pain. But….I want him back. I want to hear him scream my name again. I want to feel his touch and hear him tell me he loves me. I want to make it known to him, to everyone, that Shuichi belongs to only me and NO ONE ELSE. But I can't anymore. He loves Ryuichi after all. I can tell. That kiss they shared……it was soo….filled with Shuichi's feelings. He spent no effort in hiding that. The shuichi that hugs me everytime you see me, where are you? Can you please come back? Aargh, why am I hurting I have no right to. After all, it's my own fault that I …..lost him._ With that, tears found their way to Yuki's eyes.

AT THE HOSPITAL--------------SHUICHI IS DISCHARGED.

"Hiro, I need to go home err I mean to Yuki's house. I need to pack my stuff needed to be brought to Korea. Will you please bring me back?" "Sure, but can you manage?" Shuichi nodded his head forlornly.

Hiro's thoughts

_Shuichi looks well physically. However, I can tell, that he is emotionless. His eyes, once filled with emotion, now looks void of them. Shuichi looks just like a doll – with the shape of a human body, without any emotion. Shuichi, get over Yuki soon kay? He does not deserve you, for you deserve better. _

Shuichi's thoughts

_I am such a big liar. I don't even need to go back there. But I want to see Yuki. I miss him. I don't understand myself. Why would I love a guy that broke my heart so many times? I don't know. All I know is that I want Yuki. I need him. Whenever he scolded me or screamed at me, I was actually a little happy. For it shows that he took notice of me. Haha. I'm hopeless right? Hopelessly in love with a guy that will never ever be faithful to me. However much I want it, I know my wish would never come true. My only wish……is for Yuki…….to belong to only me…and no one else….._

OK. SO. That's it for this chapter. PLSPLSPLS REVIEW PLSSSSSS thank you very much for reading and pls give feedbacks. =)


	5. Authors note

Hi. Its me again. Sry for not posting for so long. Actually I have a new chapter. But the more I read it, the more I find its not in context. Sigh…yups so err I would like to ask for ideas….PLS HELP!! I really want to continue this story! And I hate it tht I cant think of any nice ideas…gahh!!

Pls give me some new ideas so I can work on it. Thank you very much, guys! =)


	6. I love you

Chapter 5 - I love you

OK. Sry for not updating for who-knows-how-long. Erm. Thanks for all ur suggestions. Im going to use a few I guess =) Thanks ! and Im sorry if this chapter is horrible…I am just not in that mood. Errr. Anyway. Pls still read it and thankq =)

Shuichi took out his keys and opened the door of the once-so-noisy house. He peeked in, praying that Yuki was not home and hoping that he was home at the same time. Shuichi did not want to be reminded of the hurt that Yuki brought him, however, he is going to Korea for a few years…he wanted to see his angel, before he left.

The house was still in the same condition, except, it was quieter, cleaner. It looks like it did not have any trace of Shuichi once staying in this house except for his belongings.

Shuichi's POV

I hesitantly entered the house. I guess I was afraid to see the same scenario unfold before my eyes again. I did not want to see Yuki having sex with another person….though he is no longer mine…it still hurts… Luckily, I heard the sound of Yuki typing on his computer…hmm. So he's home. What should I do? Should I go say hi? Or should I just go to take my stuff and leave…..

I don't know what to do if I see Yuki. I would probably start crying. No, I mustn't. I promised Hiro, I will get better. I must get over Yuki. So…I shall go say hi to him. After all, admitting the fact that he was once mine, is the first step to accepting that he is no longer mine.

The few steps from the door to his room seem to take a painfully long time. I gathered up my courage and turn the knob of his door. "Yuki, I….."

Yuki's POV

I thought I heard the door open. But I guess it must just be my imagination. After all, the only one to have my house key other than me is only…..Shuichi…which cannot be possible.. Sigh. I think I worked too hard..but. I just can't write a proper piece of work. Damn it. I have a serious case of writer's block. And blame it on Shuichi. I need him…sigh. He is always there for me to "replenish" my energy after I am tired and whenever I have a writer's block…(idea taken from junjou romantic! Usagi-san3!). Damndamndamn. I can't believe this. I actually abstained from sex after he left because I did not want to hurt him again. But…he won't come back. Heh. I'm such a fool huh. I did not think there would b such a day when I am so dependent on someone….AARGH. BACK TO WORK and stop thinking of that damn brat. There is no fucking way he would appear in front of me. All of a sudden, I heard the soothing, familiar voice that belonged to my brat…..I thought I was in a dream…but when I turned, there he was.

As beautiful as ever.

It's just that...something is wrong about him..I don't know exactly what..but…. his usual beautiful, irresistible violet eyes…are just different. They lack the usual glow….and shine.

I felt my defense melting. I needed him. I could not take it when I saw him. Those lips that begged to be kissed, that so familiar slender form of his, the look of anticipation and worry on his face… When I saw him, I only had one thought in my mind.

I needed to make him mine again.

I needed to be the only one he kissed. I needed to be the only one he hugged. I needed to be the only one he ever thought about, the only one he ever needed.

It was then that I realized.

I wanted him.

So so badly.

Shuichi's POV

Once I saw him, I felt like my heart stopped. I realized I had forgotten. Forgotten how he could make me mesmerized, make my heart stop beating. Even though it was just a few days since we last met, it felt like years. How could he have such an effect on me? Even though he cheats on me….all the time, and never felt sorry before….

I couldn't stand it. I knew I had to get out of there fast. I could not bear to be with him in the same room for too long. I know I would lose my control.

"Yuki, I came back to pack my stuff for going to Korea. I am sure that Seguchi san has told you about it right? Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and bye…"

After that, I rushed out of the room. I practically ran out. Tears were already falling out of my eyes. I was remembering how he could not even told me he loved me, yet, WHY AM I HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH HIM? I am such an idiot. It was a good decision to go korea. Very very good.

Hopefully, I will forget about him…..hopefully, if I come back in the future, I will realize that Yuki has no effect on me anymore. I will learn to be without him. I can do it! I am sure of it! I Must succeed in forgetting him!

_But I know I cant…I know I will fail. Cause I love him._

Yuki's POV

Aargh. I forgot. I momentarily forgot that he is in love with Ryuichi…I forgot that he was leaving me behind to go to korea with Ryuichi. I forgot that I was the one to cause my own pain. I forgot that…..

he was already out of my life…

He ran away. I felt so much pain. That numb feeling in your chest...what is it? It's like I am losing sight of him, like he's running away too fast, too fast for me to catch. It's as if, he is running out of my life every single second, he is running away further. It hurt, very badly. I wanted so much to feel him in my arms again, to remind myself that it was real that someone loved me. Why couldn't I just get those three words out of my mouth that night? Why? Why couldn't I speak my feelings. Why couldn't I. DAMN me. I felt tears coming out of my eyes. But i….did not bother to wipe it off. After all, no one cares. Haha. Now that I chased the only naïve brat that ever liked me away, there is no one in this world who gives a damn about me. I bet he is an angel, how else would he have such a beautiful heart. Heh. When did I even start caring about this. But above all, I wonder, why did I let him run away? Why did I not run after him…even though I know now, I love him.

I guess it's because…..

_I know he would be better off without me._

Heh. now I can't even stop my own tears. They are just flowing down of their own accord. What a fool I am huh. I typed what I couldn't say into my computer. They were what I wanted to tell him. Though I know. He would never be able to read it…..

~Shu,

Sorry, for treating you like that in the past. I….guess I wish you and Ryuichi all the best. I….there's nothing much I can do now, can i? I can't be selfish and just grab you back, to bind you to be with me, such a coldblooded creature. I know you would be better cared for by Ryuichi. I am certain he would always cherish you. I am very sorry. I….I guess this is it huh. Bye shu.

And I am sorry I did not realize this sooner but…

I love you.

Yuki~

READ AND REVIEW PLS THANKS!

OK. I know this chapter totally sucked. IM SORRYY. It;s cause I am like not in the mood and things. Gosh. ITS 3.01 am! im I wanna sleep. Haha. Erm. Yea. Once again. Pls review. PLSSSSSSSSSS. THankq =)


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